January 2026 Newsletter
✨ Hello January!
We’re excited to welcome you to the January edition of the Renewal Counseling & Wellness Newsletter. This month is all about fresh starts, intention-setting, and gently easing into the new year. Inside, you’ll find supportive resources, thoughtful reflections, and practical tools to help you prioritize your mental and emotional well-being as the year begins.
✨ Stay Connected
Don’t miss out on weekly tips, encouragement, and updates:
Follow us on Instagram: @rcwcare
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🌿 Client Corner
Have a story, quote, or song that inspires you as you enter the new year? We’d love to hear from you! Our Client Corner highlights the voices of the RCW community, and your submission may be featured in an upcoming newsletter or on social media.
Submit here: Client Corner Submission Form
Thank you for being part of our community. As we move through January, we encourage you to set intentions with compassion, take things one step at a time, and focus on progress, not perfection.
With care,
The RCW Team
November Newsletter
🍂 Hello November!
We’re excited to share the November edition of the Renewal Counseling & Wellness Newsletter with you! This month is all about gratitude, reflection, and finding calm before the holiday season. Inside, you’ll discover helpful resources, uplifting inspiration, and ways to nurture your mental health as the year winds down.
✨ Stay Connected
Don’t miss out on weekly tips, encouragement, and updates:
Follow us on Instagram: @rcwcare
Like us on Facebook: RCW Virginia
🌿 Client Corner
Have a story, quote, or song that inspires you? Share it with us! Our Client Corner celebrates the voices of the RCW community, and your submission may be featured in an upcoming newsletter or on social media.
Submit here: Client Corner Submission Form
Thank you for being part of our community. As we move through November, we encourage you to slow down, practice gratitude, and make time for what truly restores you.
With care,
The RCW Team
October Newsletter
🍂 Welcome Back!
We’re excited to share the October edition of the Renewal Counseling & Wellness Newsletter with you! This month is full of opportunities to embrace change, raise awareness, and nurture your mental health and wellness journey. Inside, you’ll find updates, resources, and inspiration to carry with you throughout the season.
✨ Stay Connected
Don’t miss out on weekly tips, encouragement, and updates:
Follow us on Instagram: @rcwcare
Like us on Facebook: RCW Virginia
🌿 Client Corner
Have a story, quote, or song that inspires you? Share it with us! Our new Client Corner highlights the voices of the RCW community, and your submission may be featured in future newsletters or on social media. Submit here: Client Corner Submission Form
Thank you for being part of our community. We’re so grateful to walk alongside you this season, and we encourage you to embrace change, practice self-compassion, and make space for growth this fall.
With care,
The RCW Team
Beyond the Obvious: 3 Overlooked Suicide Warning Signs You Shouldn't Ignore
It’s a scenario that has become tragically common: a friend, family member, or colleague who seemed happy and full of life takes their own life, leaving loved ones shocked and asking, “What did I miss?” The truth is, the signs of suicidal ideation are not always as clear as we might think. While we often look for overt cries for help, some of the most critical warning signs are far more subtle.
It's important to distinguish between risk factors and warning signs. Risk factors are characteristics that might make someone more vulnerable to suicide, such as a history of depression, substance abuse, or a family history of suicide. Warning signs, on the other hand, are immediate red flags that suggest someone is in crisis.
This September, for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, let's look beyond the obvious and learn to recognize some of the more subtle, and often overlooked, warning signs of suicide.
Three Overlooked Warning Signs of Suicide
- A Sudden, Miraculous Improvement in Mood: If someone who has been struggling with depression, or has been going through a difficult time, suddenly seems inexplicably happy and at peace, it might not be a sign of recovery. This abrupt shift in mood could indicate that they have made the decision to end their life and feel a sense of relief that their suffering will soon be over.
- Unusual Generosity: A person who is contemplating suicide may start giving away their prized possessions, large sums of money, or other valuable items. In retrospect, loved ones may realize that there was a pattern of these "donations" in the time leading up to the suicide. While it is not uncommon for elderly individuals to start giving things away, it should not be dismissed, especially if they have other risk factors. Elderly men are at a particularly high risk for suicide.
- A Sudden Interest in "Getting Their Affairs in Order": If a person, especially if it seems out of character or oddly timed, suddenly becomes preoccupied with estate planning, life insurance, or pre-planning a funeral, it could be a sign that they are preparing for their own death.
Trust Your Instincts and Take Action
It is crucial to be vigilant and pay attention to any changes in a person's behavior that strike you as strange, especially if they have recently experienced a stressful event or are dealing with a chronic illness or pain. If you notice any of these warning signs, or if your gut tells you something is wrong, don't hesitate to act. It's always better to be safe and have a false alarm than to be left wondering if you could have done more.
September Newsletter + Introducing Client Corner
RCW September 2025 Newsletter (1)_compressed
Please add this newsletter to blog section in the website https://rcw.care/.
We’re excited to share the latest edition of the Renewal Counseling & Wellness Newsletter with you! Inside, you’ll find resources, updates, and encouragement for your mental health and wellness journey.
Stay Connected
Don’t miss out on weekly tips, inspiration, and updates:
- Follow us on Instagram: @rcwcare
- Like us on Facebook: RCW Virginia
Introducing Client Corner
We’re launching a new feature called Client Corner—a space to highlight the voices of our RCW community. Share your story, a favorite quote, or even a song that inspires you. Submissions may be featured in future newsletters or on social media. Follow this link to share.
Thank you for being part of our community. We’re grateful for the opportunity to walk alongside you and encourage you to practice self-compassion as you continue your journey.
With care,
The RCW Team
Navigating the Waves of Grief: A Compass for Healing
Introduction: Grief is a universal human experience, an emotional journey that we all must undertake at some point in our lives. It is an intricate tapestry of emotions that weaves through the fabric of our existence, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts. In this blog, we will explore the nuances of grief, the waves that crash upon the shores of our souls, and the compass that guides us through the turbulent seas of sorrow.
The Landscape of Grief: Grief is not a linear path but a complex terrain with peaks and valleys. It is a landscape where sorrow, anger, denial, and acceptance are the landmarks that shape our journey. Understanding that grief is a unique experience for each individual allows us to appreciate the diversity of emotions and responses that accompany loss.
The Waves of Grief: Imagine grief as an ocean with waves of varying intensity. Initially, the waves may be overwhelming, crashing relentlessly against the shores of our hearts. Shock, disbelief, and pain may seem insurmountable. As time passes, the waves may subside, only to return unexpectedly, triggered by memories, anniversaries, or even the simplest things. Recognizing these waves and learning to ride them becomes an essential skill in the process of healing.
The Compass of Coping: In the vast expanse of grief, a compass becomes our guide—a set of tools and coping mechanisms that help us navigate the tumultuous waters. Here are some key points on the compass:
- Permission to Grieve: Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. Society often expects a quick recovery, but healing is a personal journey that unfolds at its own pace.
- Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a grief support group. Sharing your feelings with others can provide comfort and understanding.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Grief is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the depth of your love and connection with what or whom you've lost.
- Memorializing: Find meaningful ways to honor and remember your loved one. Creating rituals or dedicating time to reminisce can be healing.
- Professional Help: If needed, consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide tools to cope with the complexities of grief.
Conclusion: Grief is a journey that transforms us, leaving us forever changed. It is an expression of love, a testament to the beauty of the connections we forge in our lives. By acknowledging the waves of grief and embracing the compass of coping, we can navigate this intricate terrain and find a path toward healing. Remember, in the ebb and flow of sorrow, there is strength, resilience, and the potential for profound personal growth.
Navigating the Winter Blues: Understanding Seasonal Depression
Introduction:
As the days grow shorter and the temperature drops, many individuals find themselves grappling with a phenomenon known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), commonly referred to as seasonal depression. This type of depression typically occurs during the fall and winter months when daylight hours are shorter. In this blog post, we will explore the nuances of seasonal depression, its impact on mental health, and effective strategies for coping with the winter blues.
Understanding Seasonal Depression:
- The Science Behind Seasonal Depression: Seasonal depression is believed to be closely linked to the changes in sunlight exposure. Reduced sunlight can disrupt the body's internal clock (circadian rhythm) and affect the production of serotonin and melatonin, neurotransmitters that play a crucial role in mood regulation and sleep.
- Common Symptoms: Individuals experiencing seasonal depression may notice symptoms such as persistent low mood, fatigue, changes in sleep patterns, weight gain, and difficulty concentrating. It's essential to differentiate these symptoms from the typical winter blues, as SAD represents a more severe and persistent form of seasonal mood changes.
Coping Strategies:
- Light Therapy: Light therapy, or phototherapy, involves exposure to a bright light that mimics natural sunlight. This treatment has proven effective in alleviating symptoms of seasonal depression by regulating circadian rhythms and boosting serotonin levels. Consultation with a healthcare professional can help determine the appropriate duration and intensity of light therapy.
- Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle: Incorporating regular exercise and a balanced diet into your routine can positively impact mood and energy levels. Physical activity releases endorphins, the body's natural mood enhancers, while a nutritious diet supports overall well-being.
- Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help manage stress and promote a sense of calm. Mindfulness techniques can be particularly beneficial in navigating the emotional challenges associated with seasonal depression.
- Social Connection: Combat feelings of isolation by maintaining social connections. Engaging in activities with friends or loved ones, even virtually, can provide emotional support and alleviate the sense of loneliness that often accompanies seasonal depression.
- Professional Support: If symptoms persist or worsen, seeking professional help is crucial. Mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists, can provide personalized treatment plans, including psychotherapy or medication.
Conclusion:
Seasonal depression is a real and challenging aspect of mental health that affects many individuals during the colder months. By understanding the underlying factors and implementing coping strategies, it is possible to navigate the winter blues and emerge with improved mental well-being. Remember that seeking support from healthcare professionals and maintaining healthy lifestyle habits are essential steps in managing seasonal depression.
The 30 Day Relationship Challenge
When in a relationship, it’s only natural that you experience some bumps in the road. Maybe you’ve hit the end of your “honeymoon phase.” Maybe between work, friends, and family, you can’t remember the last time you said those simple three words. Or, maybe, you’re just in a simple romance rut.
Whatever the case, we’re here to challenge you and your partner to love boldly with our 30-day relationship calendar. Before you get discouraged, these aren’t generic, unrealistic “take a vacation now” tips. Rather, we’ve found 30 simple activities backed by science to improve your romance. Most of the challenges are easy enough to accomplish in the small amount of time you have together and are guaranteed to bring back the fireworks.
The Trauma of Racism
Countless studies have shown the adverse effects of racism.
In the United States, many black people are born into a life of trauma. It is a trauma informed by a long history of brutal inhumanity, repression, violence, and injustice that continues to firmly grip black men and women each and every day.
This trauma is not something any of us who have not had the experience of being black in America can speak to in the same way as someone who has. Yet, acknowledging this trauma and casting it in a broad, unflickering light is all of our responsibility.
Countless studies have shown the adverse physical and psychological effects of racism. “Racism is considered a fundamental cause of adverse health outcomes for racial/ethnic minorities and racial/ethnic inequities in health" (Williams, Lawrence, & Davis, 2019). The experience of individual, institutional, and cultural racism has been found to be uniquely predictive of post-traumatic stress symptoms (Facemire, 2018).
Racial trauma can involve a “negative, sudden, and uncontrollable experience or crisis.” Alternately, it can involve an “ongoing physical or psychological threat that produces feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, helplessness, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)" (Ponds, 2013).
When you witness the kind of grotesque violence against a man like George Floyd, knowing that this could happen to you or someone close to you simply based on your skin color, how can you not feel threatened, afraid, anxious, depressed, helpless?
Yet, as we all know, for many African Americans this trauma didn’t start with George Floyd. Trauma, in general, can be defined as any significant negative event or incident that shaped us and can emerge from any impactful instance that made us feel bad, scared, hurt, or ashamed. “Acts of aggression are not only examples of interpersonal trauma but also the trauma of racism, which is examined through the lens of intergenerational trauma, racist incident-based trauma, and complex trauma" (Bryant-Davis, Adams, Alejandre, & Gray, 2017).
A black child does not even have to directly experience racism to be influenced. A 2017 systematic review of 30 studies looked at how children’s health might be affected by indirectly experienced racism. Researchers concluded that “socioemotional and mental health outcomes were most commonly reported with statistically significant associations with vicarious racism” (Heard-Garris, Cale, Camaj, Hamati, & Dominguez, 2018). Families living in racially and economically segregated communities must also cope with the effects of historical trauma and intergenerational racism. Additionally, they face specific barriers to obtaining needed services. (“Complex Trauma,” 2010)
Another study that looked at how exposure to racism and other Adverse Childhood Experiences affected perinatal women with moderate to severe mental illness, found that “black women were significantly more likely to report conventional and expanded ACEs including experiencing racism and witnessing violence.” The study concluded that “childhood exposure to racism and environmental trauma are important risk categories for perinatal mental illness” (Kim, Kuendig, Prasad, & Sexter, 2020).
Research on the impact of ACEs has left no doubt that early trauma, especially unresolved trauma, impacts the development of emotional regulation skills and distress tolerance. It can lead to “disrupted neurodevelopment and social, emotional and cognitive impairment” (Aaltonen, 2019). ACEs have further been linked with all the leading causes of death, including illnesses such as heart disease, stroke, obesity, diabetes, and cancer, in addition to mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide.
The physical and emotional wounds of racial trauma can be reopened throughout one’s lifetime. It’s a trauma reawakened when a person is afraid to walk down the street or is pulled over by the police. It is a trauma reignited by disturbing videos of violence and tragedies like the murder of George Floyd. These events can be triggering on a level that is both deeply personal and broadly shared.
Healing from this kind of trauma must occur on a societal and individual level. Part of overcoming trauma is processing what happened to us, feeling the full pain of it, and making sense of the experience. For many black Americans, the experiences they’re trying to process can be ongoing, complex, and utterly senseless. This makes it all the more crucial that we find pathways to provide mental health services in the wake of trauma.
Unfortunately, although black men are exposed to trauma at an alarming rate, findings have suggested that “56-74% of those exposed to traumatic events may have an unmet need for mental health services” (Motley, Banks, 2018). The question we must ask ourselves, in addition to social change, is what can be done to start to address the mental health needs of this community?
For those impacted by the trauma of racism, healing can come from counseling, spirituality, seeking justice, and social support. Racial socialization messages emphasizing cultural pride have also been found to moderate the relationship between racism and post-trauma reactions (Williams, Lawrence, & Davis, 2019).
Yet, we must ensure access to such resources are available. One effort we made in our hometown of Santa Barbara was to create a volunteer-led Response Network that provides psychological first aid and mental health services after a crisis. At this point in time, all of us in the mental health community should call on one another to increase our efforts to address the trauma that so many people are enduring.
Perhaps what we should marvel at in this moment is not that people have been thrust into action, taking to the streets in protest, but that people imbued with this much trauma have learned to tuck it away for so long, to carry on each day despite its mental and physical toll.
Any help we offer or action we take should include a fuller understanding and acknowledgment of this trauma. It is on all of us to refuse to allow this subject to fall back in the shadows, to keep that light shining, and never allow it to go dark again.
References
Williams, D. R., Lawrence, J. A., & Davis, B. A. (2019). Racism and Health: Evidence and Needed Research. Annual Review of Public Health, 40(1), 105-125. doi:10.1146/annurev-publhealth-040218-043750
Facemire, V. (2018). Understanding the Insidious Trauma of Racism: An Exploration of the Impact of Racial Socialization, Gender, and Type of Racist Experiences. (Electronic Thesis or Dissertation). Retrieved from https://etd.ohiolink.edu/
Ponds, K. T. (2013). The Trauma of Racism: America's Original Sin. Reclaiming Children and Youth, 22(2), 22-24.
Grief Journaling Prompts
journey.
Putting thoughts on paper gets them out of my head.
Writing them down helps me understand them.
Reading them back is an excellent reflective exercise. It’s a way to track progress, recognize repeating patterns and see where I need to do more grief work.
Sometimes I use Scripture, quotes or other prompts to get me started. Often I may look up words in the dictionary and jot down the definition or synonyms or examples. I may draw my way around a concept or cut out pictures from magazines or the newspaper to add to my creation. There have been days I’ve spent hours and several sheets of paper moving my feelings from my heart to the page.
So if you want to try your hand at journaling, here is a list I find useful.
Don’t set any parameters or have any expectations.
Just write, color, draw or whatever flows naturally.
And if the tears fall, let them.
7 Things Resilient Couples Do Differently
My husband and I recently celebrated our 10-year anniversary, and it has caused me to reflect on the twelve years that we have known each other. As a teacher of resilience, defined as the ability to bounce back and grow and thrive during challenge, change and stress, I wanted to examine the traits that helped couples remain resilient. I looked at those relationships that worked, didn't work, and the research to compile these seven hallmarks of resilience in relationships:
1. CARE rather than confront during tough conversations.
Resilient couples know how to communicate assertively -- that is, in a clear, confident and controlled manner. While that's easier said than done, particularly with tough conversations, here's a model to help:
C -- Communicate the facts.
A -- Address your concerns in an objective way
R -- Reach out and ask the other person for his/her perspective
E -- Evaluate outcomes
Most importantly, do your homework before you even have the conversation. Ask yourself whether you have an accurate understanding of the problem. I'm always embarrassed when I have a conversation with someone only to realize I never really fully understood the issue. (1)
2. Find your "I want" power.
Relationships can take a little (and some days, a lot of) self-discipline. Stanford health psychologist, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, coined the phrase "I want" power, and it's an important component of self-control. (2) "I want" power is the ability to find your motivation when it really matters -- that important long-term goal that you want to focus your time and energy on. What are you working toward as a couple? Whatever it is, you need to be able to tap into this "I want" power when your willpower reserves are running low.
3. Connect during daily transition points.
I don't know about you, but my mornings tend to be busy getting ready for the day, and then when I get home from work, I'm exhausted and focused on starting dinner and other tasks. Resilient couples acknowledge each other at distinct transition points during the day: waking up, leaving for the day, coming back together at the end of the day and going to sleep. The acknowledgement can be as simple as a kiss, hug, smile or touch.
4. Help each other relive good news.
Human beings are hard-wired to notice and remember negative news and events. That's why you stand at the ready when your partner says, "Hey, I have a problem!" But what do you do when your partner says, "I've got great news?" How you respond to the good news is as important for the health of your relationship as how you respond to bad news according to psychologist, Dr. Shelly Gable. Killing the conversation by offering a short acknowledgement ("Hey, that's great") or hijacking the conversation by making it about you ("I'm training for that marathon, too!") are quick ways to weaken a relationship.
5. Reframe your thinking during tough times.
When a relationship hits a rough patch, it can be easy to think pessimistically. Thinking optimistically isn't about rainbows and unicorns, rather, it's about being realistic. Optimistic thinkers are able to identify solutions that haven't yet been tried (instead of trying the same thing over and over again that isn't working). In addition, optimistic thinkers zero in on what they can control, influence or leverage. One question I always ask myself during tough times is, "Will I still be dealing with this problem in the next month or year?" Odds are, the answer is no, and that gives me a little perspective.
6. Have hope.
When my ex-fiancé and I broke up years ago, three months before our wedding date, I was devastated. It was one of the times in my life where I felt truly lost and without hope. Whether you're dealing with a sick child, contemplating a divorce or break-up, or wondering how you're going to pay the bills, resilient couples have hope.
The three elements of hope include having goals (identifying pathways); feeling empowered to shape your daily life (remember to zero in on where you have control, influence and leverage); and identifying multiple avenues toward making your goals happen. Hope has been shown to be a strong predictor of satisfaction, even being called a symptom of happiness. (3)
7. Practice empathy.
The ability to understand another person's experiences and emotions is a powerful relationship tool. In addition to promoting forgiveness, empathy is also a hallmark of resilience. Empathetic people tend to be less selfish, having a genuine interest in the well-being of others. (4)
One of my favorite quotes is, "One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder." There are many reasons to both stay in, and leave, a relationship. Choosing to stay requires resilience, and hopefully one of these seven strategies makes a difference in your relationship.
References:
(1) I developed the CARE acronym with my colleague, Lorrie Peniston. It is based on a model of assertive communication created by Sharon Anthony Bower and Gordon H. Bower and is more fully explained in their book, Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change. New York: De Capo Press. See also Cameron, K. (2008). Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
(2) McGonigal, K. (2012). The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. New York, NY: The Penguin Group.
(3) Gallagher, M.W., & Lopez, S.J. (2009). Positive expectancies and mental health: Identifying the unique contributions of hope and optimism. Journal of Positive Psychology, 4, 548-56.
(4) Skodol, A.E. (2010). The resilient personality. In J.W. Reich, A.J. Zautra & J.S. Hall (Eds.), Handbook of Adult Resilience (pp. 112-125). New York: The Guilford Press.
